非学生

今天心里轻松了好多,犹豫和痛苦了N年之后终于辞了地税那边了,不知道这样的决定对不对.但目前的现状确实让我割舍不下,要珍惜锻炼的机会.

 

好像在以前的历史课本上每每涉及变革的章节都会有这个词，而且这个词似乎都代表着关于旧的,阻碍发展的东西.现在我还赖着在烟草行业，就是因为这个，既得利益。

烟草业是一个备受争议的行业，一方面它为国家财政创造了巨大贡献，另一方面，很多人因为长期吸它而进医院，甚至没了命。在入职时省局的就跟我们说过，你们“很有胆量，也很有眼光”。有胆量是因为从发展角度来看，这个行业是处于夕阳时期的，虽然或许在我有生之年也不会看得到这种产品的消失，但随着社会的发达程度提高，它的市场只会越来越小。当它小到一定程度的时候，国家就不再保护它了，我们这批人就很有失业的可能。说有眼光是因为这个行业现今正是如日中天的时候，它每年所创的税利比财政的军费预算还多，也可以说中国烟草养活了整支军队。当然，在这的工作待遇和发展机会也是挺多的。就我目前的情况而言，这两个月就将有竞聘机会，竞上的话就等于是县级局的副职，现时工资也比新工作多一半。这就是我的既得利益。

但出于某些历史和现实的原因，家人一致让我去公务员，回避一下，拿铁饭碗。在清远这个不大不小的地方，公务员是很多人工作的理想地方，首先有可保一生温饱，好运一点的还可以拼拼仕途，但据经验大多数进去了就是挨时间，拿着铁饭碗过一辈子。对于我来说，公务员也是一种很理想的状态，因为去那以后工作压力绝对减少很多，空间或许更大，可以回避，可以发挥互补优势，安稳舒服地过生活。

但现在就是放不下，既得利益。

对于呢个问题,可能好多人听后都会想打我,尤其是D公务员或是考紧公务员的同志.但我真唔知点选择.

后日地税面试了,好矛盾.

还想再听多点其他意见.

it is so busy since i summited the disser. busy in travelling, in meeting friends, in saying goodbye... so on so forth. today is the last day in lanca. i really feel sad to say goodbye to such a nice place and to so many good friends. time~ can you go back again???

the last trip to highland is wonderful. i saw the world's best-protected nature again. eagles in the sky, deers at the road side and seals in the sea... i feel again uk is one of the best places for human being to live in...

yesterday. when i was still pulling my luggage and about to walk into my house, i heard eric shouted in the kitchen:"come and have dinner together". that is so warm in my heart. then with sam, xiaohui, winnie, denny, shijie et al. we had quite an enjoyable dinner together. nice...

then today. i started doing the packing, i went to post office, department office, choi' office, the bank and university house to prepare all the leaving materials. it was so surprised and happy to find that choi can remember my name.  then had dinner in htet htet's flat with her flatmates and my disser groupmats.

i left early in the dinner. and attended otavial's(do i spell wrong?) farewell party. drinking with candy,greisy,michelle,and jorge. my best friends...we had nice talks tonight. and we are to also going to have dinner together in my flat tommorow. expecting...

as a matter of fact, my mind is conflicting now.happy to go home. but sad to leave.

the corelation coefficient between dissertation and taiji should be zero. but my atitude and way of doing the disser make them significantly associated(rejected at 5% significance level). slow. very slow. doing the dissertation like doing taiji. i used to plan to finish it by the end of Aug. because i wanna to focus on another important things after finishing it. but not as expect, i am always distracted by other things, sometimes music, sometimes a movie, sometimes a dinner. sometimes......  hope god bless me that i can summit it by the deadline.

i want to quit doing taiji. hurry up!!!

it has been fifteen days since i went back from europe. and counting from today, there are only one month for the days i left in lanca.  as confucius stands on the riverside and sigh: how time flies... these days i have dreamed several times for the moment when i see my mum and dad and my friends. how exiting it will be...

during the trip in europe, there was sth unhappy happened. and the unhappy cloud still last for a few days when i came back.this leads to i have no mood to do everything, including updating my space(there should be some pretty beautiful photoes sharing with my friends)...but now it is all clear. sunshine appears again. many thanks to all the friends who accompanied me when i was down. and sorry to candy and greisy. making you worried about me. and i didn't go with you for the trip to edinburgh.

there were some travel notes and feeling i wanted to put on here.such as happyness comes from comparison, don't hide our feelings to who we "love" (we can expree ourselves better), be independant and china become so powerful nowadays and so on so forth...however, due to the pressure of the dissertation. i need to make it short.

making everyday count is my new pursuit...even though what will happen tommorow is so unpredictatble, what my future will be is even more than unpredictable...what i should do now is just focus on the things i can see, i can feel, i can treasure...others, let it be...